Diary of a Poet
Dear Reader
The first hundred copies of this book were printed with a spirit duplicator and sold (@ $1.95) while I
pumped gas on South Willow Street, in Manchester, NH, during the summer of 1986. A second run of 100 copies was sold
on the streets of Ellsworth, ME in 1987, another 100 copies were sold on the streets of Belfast, ME, and at a
flea market in Searsport, ME, the summer of 1988. In 1995 another batch was printed and sold at Poetry Palace
Gift Shop on Elm Street, in Manchester, NH. That venture closed, a financial failure, in the fall of that same
year. Several copies were also sold during the duration of PoetryPalaceGiftShop.com (2001-2009). Since then
dozens of copies have been given away on cruises in the caribbean each February, and I try to keep the dump
truck I drive around Metro-Boston, for Allied Paving Corp, stocked. I really do not know why Volume I is blue,
but Volume II, A Month with Marie, screamed for pink, and the colors kept coming. Collected Worx (2014 thomas
beal) does look pretty colorful though... It was not talked about back then, but I believe I suffered from PTSD
as a result of the violent beatings I endured as a child. Of course, being the rebellious child in the home of
an insanely angry Baptist minister was not conducive to easy living... There are parts of this where blatant
ignorance shines brightly, but it is the collection of my earliest writings and I would not trade them for the
world!
I do hope you find some lines that touch your heart, or sing to your soul, as you read this!
My mind is like a city of one way streets
all leading to its center
Poems and parts of poems
and parts of possible poems
stampede frantically
in Twilight Zone redundancy
down each street
and i live
in the dust above the collision
unable
or willing
to control the bits of shrapnel
as they tear through me
writing all that i can hold on to
long enough to slate.
I am not sure if i messed up the blueprints
or the construction
or if the city was already there waiting for me.
My best days are when i scribble frantically
or share those scribblings.
I guess that makes this one of my best days!
Thank you!
#1 , #2 , #3 , #4 , #5 , #6
#7 , #8 , #9 , #10 , #11 , #12
#13 , #14 , #15 , #16 , #17 , #18
#19 , #20 , #21 , #22 , #23 , #24
#25 , #26 , #27 , #28 , #29 , #30
#31 , #32 , #33 , #34 , #35 , #36
#37 , #38 , #39 , #40 , #41 , #42
#43 , #44 , #45 , #46 , #47 , #48
#49 , #50 , #51 , #52 , #53 , #54
#55 , #56 , #57 , #58 , #59 , #60
#61 , #62 , #63 , #64 , #65 , #66
#67 , #68 , #69 , #70 , #71 , #72
#73 , #74 , #75 , #76 , #77 , #78
#79 , #80 , #81 , #82 , #83 , #84
#1
Memories
some forgotten
in the whirl of days gone by
good along with bad
haunted by a select few
some we hold as good
the magnificent pieces of the puzzle
the rose petal of long ago
saved to hold the memory
even more distinct
as if it were yesterday
and it was
for there is only yesterday
today and tomorrow
think today of yesterday
and tomorrow remember your thoughts
think again of good
and only once of bad
learn from both
but live in neither
and try not to make
either occur again
for what is a puzzle
with two pieces the same
or a year
with two Octobers?
Top
T o C
#2
The rain
tapping upon the roof
slithers silently
through ports of age
diving carelessly
into reunions of drops
on the floor beneath
Nature's breath
seeps between the logs
like music
causing the flames to dance
On it flies
the fading screams
of trees
ancient and young
whom have battled
series of storms
seen decades of death
surrounded multitudes of people
sitting in silence
comfortable warm
listening
to the screaming of trees
Top
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#3
Sometimes i write
with no reason
sometimes the words
do not sing
Usually a bit
past the season
like winter snows
in the spring
But these are the lines
that must be written
with all of the sorrow
that they bring
Just like the armies
that are smitten
before the prince
becomes king
Top
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#4
Sometimes we hurt
we get so mad
sometimes tempers short
make us so sad
We reach our goals
for us to live
sometimes others do
what we cannot forgive
Only you may choose
the road for you
and those special things
only you can do
I would give you help
along the way
but i am not sure
just what to say
Top
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#5
In a war
fought for freedom
there are only soldiers
pulling triggers
to stay alive
Top
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#6
Adults that show
the children
the way
that they should go
Often in frustration
are shown
the things
they used to know
We soon forget
the freedom
of joy
and spirits lifted high
And at times
we just accept
not knowing
exactly why
Just watch
the little children
as they laugh
when nothing is there
And how
in the midst of trouble
find the time
to care
for strangers
Top
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#7
In prior words
i glorified
a child's
ability
to care
for those not known
Yet daily
we are horrified
so reluctantly
forced to wrench
this humble attribute
from the innocence
of their souls
Only because
of the derelicts
of our kind
prone to cruelty
for happiness
who remind us well
of the frailty
of situations
left to mold
And in our desperation
to battle them
we have overlooked
a problem
yet unsolved
One which could answer all
Top
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#8
There are so many eyes
with so much inside
Where the feelings flow
and the secrets hide
There are those that see
and those that don't
Those that never will
those that just won't
Some that laugh
some that cry
Some that tell
some ask why
The silent ones
and ones are loud
There is so much to see
in glances in a crowd
Top
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#9
Maybe
hope
unsure
so full
of expectation
Maybe...
unbeatable
untouchable
unstealable
Maybe...
wonderful maybe!
Top
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#10
Rushing
raging
running wild
pounding
pulsing
passion's child
ripping
roaring
ritually
pushing
pulling
perpetually
swiftly
swirling
sensuous blood in me
Top
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#11
A bright blue sky
becomes the background
to Swiss' silent
pastel peaks
Sensuous sun rays
in echoed rebound
of captured canvas
awed artist seeks
On waves of white
brave blades belonging
a passioned princess
in worship's way
Now quickly quenched
an age old longing
a haunting hunger
the price to pay
Top
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#12
Every once in a while
there is an awesome happening
where two people meet
in a state of mind
And deep below words
where the soul's vibration
makes music
to the heart
There is a sweet sensation
words will never disclose
When i look into your eyes
into the depthless dark
for that distant spark
from the fire
that burns
within
Top
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#13
Like Shakespeare's words
so intriguing
delicate and noble romance
royal gardens of roses and pink
with a gentle crimson sunset
dreams of unleashed desire
but i, a simple peasant
nor gold, nor silk to offer
but naked against the winter wind
the warmth i have left
is gladly yours
even the farthest star of heaven
echoes back the words
words which bind
my heart to thine
of which
love is the greatest
Top
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#14
Again there is joy
in painting pen
and its soul has
escaped its pen
Now flowing fast
the pictured word
again resent
no longer heard
And my wings
are not bound
and there is reason
to be found
Again that sweet release
again so strongly sought
i fear not what i am
only what i am not
Top
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#15
The forest's edge
grows ever on
consuming lakes
concealing dawn
At first it's grass
they hay, then bush
then in grow trees
the forest's push
In its heart
there can be found
skeletons
by vine are bound
A pot or pan
or broken glass
remains of man
did long since pass
A road is cut
a field is made
a lake is eaten
the debt is paid
Top
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#16
So young
so confused
indecisive
frustrations
in their full glory and greatness
the heavy gloom of impatience
seconds like hours
and days like minutes
the courage of a martyr
the seriousness of a jester
the hopes of an ace
the stability of a joker
free as the summer's dew
upon the virgin daisies
Until trapped!
by broken bridges ahead
and burning bridges behind
only to ride the river
quickly roughening
only to crash
on your own rocks
your own jagged rocks of maturity!
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#17
He stood about six foot four
bare feet on the floor
and pony tails down his back
He was quiet most of the time
when he talked it should have rhymed
it was about sunsets and snow
He had dark colored skin
and was kind of thin
but put in a good day's work
He would jot things down
in a little book
and hide it away
should someone look
and eat little loaves of flatbread
They called him Thunder
cuz his voice boomed when he talked
They called him a fool
cuz he owned no horse but walked
They called him stranger
cuz no one seemed to be his friend
They called him Mrs.
cuz when trouble came
he would not fight but bend
The men at the mill did not treat him well
but if it bothered him you could not tell
his expression never seemed to change
No one knows what he did
with the money he got
whether he even spent it or not
but it was not on clothes
Wore a homemade vest of buffalo fur
and his pants weren't factory made
that's for sure
and moccasins in the winter
Sometimes he would talk to the foreman
and often to old Mrs. Gorman
when she brought in a pie for the men
They called him Thunder
cuz his voice boomed when he talked
They called him a fool
cuz he owned no horse but walked
They called him stranger
cuz no one seemed to be his friend
They called him Mrs.
cuz when trouble came
he would not fight but bend
One day a fire broke out in the mill
while everyone ran old Thunder stood still
the payroll was in the back
He finally came out with ash on his face
when he got to the foreman
he slowed his pace
and handed him a pile of burnt bills
The foreman yelled something
about it all not being there
everyone gave old Thunder a stare
but he just turned and walked away
They called him a thief
said he would hang
when he was near
there were songs they sang
about Indians being dirt
He said it was all, they called him a liar
one day they set his cabin on fire
they were still there when he got back
He walked inside against their demands
appeared with the corpse
of a woman in his hands
he said that it was his wife
He said that when the mill burned down
the money had been scattered all around
he had picked up what still was good
asked why none of the rest of them would
Tears rolled down his face as he turned
and carried his wife back into the flames
The men stood staring at the ground
no one dared to make a sound
because the Indian
never came back out
Top
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#18
He stood in the solitude of the setting sun
on the cliff rock above the pass
outside of town
and thought of his mansion
just minutes away
a short drive in his new Stutz Bearcat
the old men still called it an iron horse
he thought of the silk shirt and tie he wore
about the bourbon
he drank by the fire in his study
about the luxuries he enjoyed daily
all the years that had passed
since the old mill burned
About the new mill he now owned
the respect of the town's people
which he far from deserved
He remembered clearly
the day it had burned
how he had picked up the strongbox
but threw it and ran to save himself
how he let everyone blame the Indian
for a mistake that was his own
how he had blamed the Indian too
to justify his own cowardice
He had guilt that ate away at his soul
more and more each day
was it worth the price he paid
He decided clearly that it was not
and leapt out over the rocks
and as the ground approached
the last thing
that flashed through his mind
was the Indian holding that corpse
walking back into the flames
and himself...
standing quietly like the rest...
but guilty!
Top
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#19
Sex is quite a subject
i have written, seen or felt
At times, oh, so stern
and times that i have knelt
Times that i have only wanted
times that i gave
Those i did only dream of
those that did rave
Times rough and careless
times of tender touch
Times i have felt so little
times i have felt so much!
Top
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#20
Now within me
lurks an entity
whose world
is of its own
Speaks often times
and mostly rhymes
on leaf
is only shown
And feeds upon
my crimson life
and breathes
my precious air
I must find how
the two of us
this tattered shell
can share
Top
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#21
I don't know you well
my misfortune
maybe as days pass
that will change
I don't really mean
what i say sometimes
you try to understand
i, rearrange
I went skiing anyway
but i missed you
you think i would make you feel
that much alone?
If that is how you are
i will accept you
i have not seen the skies
you have flown
Top
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#22
In the meadows of my mind
the flowers always grow
There is an island in the sky
where i often go
Centered in its forest
my castle made of stone
With vines that climb the walls
and roses by birds are sown
Top
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#23
If i were a tree
on the seacoast
next to a cabin
with kids
I would wonder
how the boards felt
beneath them
pitter patter of playful feet
Or if the pine bureau's
sap still etched its living
proud to be holding goods
Or the slab
weather protecting
were gallant
or just immune
I would turn to the bay
in winter
sight searching the mansion beyond
I would scream silent helloes
to the heart
of my lost oak
which neighbored me
many years
Do you feel, my friend
as you used to of old
when your moods
and colors were so clear?
Do you mind, my mate
i, now, swing the children
and cradle their playhouse
so bold?
Are you still lonely
in winter
or does down mean death
and your nakedness
no longer bring shame?
Top
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#24
I feel the wind
in fresh spring gusts
i follow life's scents
over flowing with lusts
I smell the flowers
so full in the air
and all else is lost
i have no other care
I fill my body
it will take no more
and when i am empty
i will return to the lure
I feel for the children
so soon be alive
when they first
leave the comfort
of our
Majesty's hive!
Top
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#25
Deep within
life's web of sacredness
lies the beast of delusion
whom preys upon the souls
of mankind
and those who stagger
often splash
carelessly into the pool
of no return
and the demons
of destruction feast
quickly in seeps the venom
only of which the pool can breath
slaughtering the forces of entity
and the waters of hypnotism
cascade endlessly
into the depths of the soul
I cry for those
the apostles of fate
for they soon whither
against the wind of time
and corrode to the song of mystery
Joyous am i to muster the power
to battle with destiny
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#26
In the spring
the tricklings
of melting snow
join to stream
over aging stone
over thawing ground
to make rivers flow
bursting with life
and waterfalls
a roaring cascade
to feed the ocean
as does happen
in the spring
of the mind!
Top
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#27
I need someone
to hold me tight
to soothe me with their smile
I need someone
to take me close
to rock me for a while
I need someone
to take me in
to roll upon the dew
I need someone
for many things
is that someone you?
Top
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#28
The setting sun before me
thunder clouds gather
over my weary head
the last burning bridge behind
rocky soil pillows my calloused feet
the last cool sparkling stream
still echoes in my mind
while flowing waves of sand
reach for the mountains before my eyes
the sad howl of a lost wolf
summons the moon
vibrates the breeze
a tear is drawn from my eye
by the lonely cry
of the aged prince
deserted on the lifeless cliffs
I wipe it slowly from my cheek
with my weathered hand
watching the last beam of sun
i mount and beckon
my horse on
searching
for if i am a joker
there still lies another
within the deck...
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#29
Many people come
most as many go
many eyes i have seen before
today i do not know
Many visions fall
within lines of mine
many less enlightening
than from your eyes do shine
Many restless youths
self-implied with strife
just as many minds
with so much lesser life
Here in my glory days
making the most
i could find unwiser ways
and many less fit to host
Maybe i cannot
cheat the gift of time
but i have all other rules
and proved it in my rhyme
Maybe i am selfish
with interests i have in you
for i cannot show you meanings
just learn from what you do
I have always chosen
to take this life and write
rhyming words of what i see
and you are such a fine sight
Top
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#30
Pain is when
i see your eyes
and it's not you inside
Now and then
i feel surprise
i want to run and hide
Now it hurts
to be alone
i want you here with me
How it hurts
to not be shown
the love i want to see
Your twisted pride
and haunted fate
team up to eat my heart
Tears i've cried
tears too late
or far before the start
Mostly pain
leaves a hole
a hole that must be filled
Too much strain
on my soul
its source that must be killed
Top
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#31
A friend
is one who laughs and cries
and shares their joys and sorrows
one who can predict
how you will feel
one who is ready to hold you
if you are crying
who makes ready if they are not
one who tries their best
to do what's best for you
one who holds out a hand
when you are falling
and when falling
holds out a hand
doubting not
that it will be taken
one to whom
you are bonded
the strongest bond
that does exist
yet one with whom
you feel free
one who knows
just when to talk
or when silence
for thought is needed
one from whom
nothing can be hidden
yet with whom
you have nothing to hide!
Top
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#32
Years of searching
glorious years of haste
Tears of sorrow
discovered shed in waste
Fears of destination
but intricately placed
Spears of frustration
the silver linings laced
Time of satisfaction
a reach beyond our height
Rhyme of indecision
our harmony of night
Mime of loneliness
an actor in the light
Crime of misfortune
spots our uncharted flight
Rage of passion
in child-like stagger flies
Stage of hope
the actor only cries
Cage of the eagle
keeps him from the skies
Page of many friends
in which my future lies
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#33
Silence's shadow
has fallen on me
Its pages of knowledge
like leaves on a tree
I run through its forest
i am taken by fear
Fear that i'll lose
what is already here
An aged white owl
is disrupted by me
While pondering the universe
from the branch of a tree
When time is taken
time then is lost
Be time forsaken
so then the cost
Rushed not is knowledge
but knowledge is free
Silence leaves room
to listen and see
The shadow is gone
again i am free
But silence's wisdom
i carry with me
Top
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#34
There are no words
to bring to life
Nor sexy sentence
to dance for me
I live, i feel
i breath the dawn
I have set
my tolls to pay
I face a wall
new, but the same
I shall not
turn away
Top
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#35
Faces, many faces
eyes, shallow and deep
Some so soon forgot
some to memory keep
Looking at the walks
or toward the city sky
Smiling or thoughtless
some we see that cry
Loving, hating, not
through us they see
And one of those faces
to someone is me
How is it?
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#36
I give you a dozen roses
a meaning in each one
And if i did not love you
i would give you none
The first is for our friendship
the second the extra mile
the third is a quick glance
the fourth is for a smile
The fifth is conversations
sixth a gentle touch
seventh says i need you
eighth i want you very much
Ninth proclaims your beauty
tenth claims our closeness true
eleventh to bond us closer
twelfth to say i love you
Top
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#37
Long nights
i wish you were here
lonely lights
you are replaced by a tear
Empty sights
my way is not clear
feeling slights
drowning in my beer
Love rights
i, only, known to smear
future plights
i wish you the best, my dear
Top
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#38
Again we live
our separate lives
again we sleep
or not, alone
Again we feel
our separate thoughts
again we see
our hearts hardly shown
Again we find
our separate fears
again behind
in love, overgrown
Again we find
our separate fears
again behind
the shattered hearts
we have known
Top
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#39
The beginning
of a shiny new day
another day
of silence
or searching
and i have grown
to love the searching
maybe too much!
Top
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#40
I feel as a day
worn, exhausted
its power spent
to light the land
its warmth drained
by heat greedy fools
no thanx given
for its hard work
no comfort prepared
it enters eve
Yet as it passes
though it knows
only self-satisfaction
it waves
its glorious
crimson goodbye
Top
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#41
What am i to do
you begging pity
i, climbing from its pit
And of our living too
i love the city
you, by country lit
It was lonely we met
drenched in dreams
and reaching for the past
And what are we to get
from what it seems
we fall apart so fast
What am i to do
in the presence
of what is shown
fight my love with you
or live it all alone
Top
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#42
With those eyes that shine
come warm my heart
can't you see myself
i am falling apart
i have no one at all to talk to
With those clouds of joy
come rain on me
wash me in friendship
i want to be free
me and i alone spell tragedy
Simple talk i want
you can add a smile
i ask you to walk
me through life for a while
my only regret
you might say no
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#43
Early this morning by the dial of a phone
i returned to Eden
from whence i have flown
No gates nor pillars to block my way
nor hates grown savage from passing day
Nor have the flowers died
now i find the clouds were just my pride
Angels there are wingless yet angels still
pure springs cool flowing thirsts to kill
Meaning not forgotten roam my mind
feelings must be lost only to find
Lost is not the word words are treachery
Love high above the hate i stretch to see
Essences of friendship fill my lungs
soft the soothing singing
of voiceless tongues
Erupting deep within me the will to live
sensuously self-inspired the want to give
Suddenly i grow tired of distructitude
and the inner devils i have let delude
My smile inside is glowing
my rivers long dried are flowing
And now i see even Eden's
pleasure is not free
for all that is taken
must return but willingly
My spear has killed a part of you
forgive me if you can
you have only seen my little boy
now come and see my man
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#44
Roses are red
soon they are dead
in the games we play
Now, they said
they must be fed
many times each day
Candles drip wax
what does the axe
ring sweet freedom's toll?
Eternal tracks
heavy the tax
prowlers empty soul
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#45
i sit down
in the middle of life
there is only me
and empty space
And i wonder why the clock ticks on
when it does not affect the great
who have come along
While we are standing
in the midst
of someone
whoever they are
that out children's
children's children's children
will come to know
of essence
and sit down
in the middle of life
with only them
and empty space
And they will wonder why
the clock ticks on
when it does not affect the great
who have come along
while they are standing in the midst
of someone...
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#46
Beneath the diamond speckled sky
that frames the silver shining moon
Bubbling champagne, you and i
we will be dancing by the band so soon
Black silk, lace and tiny high heels
cascading hair, Caribbean breeze
If you have a heart, you know how it feels
two urgent hearts, just dying to please
And late at night in the tropic sea
we were silhouettes in sensuous tone
We found a way to set our hungers free
and found some we had never known
She held my spirit, i held her hand
came soft, silent music
we had never heard
We just assumed our hearts
to be the band
we shouted conversations
not saying a word
As the sun rose we gazed at the sky
re-remembering that awesome tune
We knew it happened
we did not ask why
just like we knew it would be over soon
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#47
A poem
is a truth
or a story
written for the world
or one's self
sometimes for laughter
sometimes for tears
or as a biography
to discover an idea
or quality
an outburst of emotion
it can be read or sung
for only what it says
Or it can be understood
differently by each reader
it is a tool for thought
How differently we all think!
It is unusual
that the reader should get
the exact meaning
that the poet had
A poem alone
is sometimes worthless
for the reader
has not the train of mind
conveyed by earlier works
A single poem
is like a star
a collection
a universe
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#48
If at first you seemed
royal pleasant
then why now
must you treat me this way
Why did you at all
pick a peasant
when there are kings
who are willing to pay
I showed you my soul
and my diary
and i gave
of that little i had
Why feed me this hell
and so fiery
now the fool
i am feeling so sad
And how could a queen
think so little
her subjects
like dirt on the ground
The passion of life
is a riddle
and you are
one false lead i have found
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#49
Eyes many colors
all a different shade
some that grow brighter
some that slowly fade
Those cold and lonely
those that warmly glow
those always asking
and those that know
Eyes soft and shining
eyes swift and free
eyes that are searching
eyes that do not see
And eyes only lost
eyes asking helplessly
eyes void and empty
that used to be in me!
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#50
I am very old
and i am far too young
I will die late, too early
with many songs unsung
I have lived too little
in all too many lives
I have pierced and been
my heart with many knives
I have committed murder
i have been murdered too
I have fought many wars
none of which are through
I have seen the stars
from their every side
In every galaxy
i have tried to hide
I have loved so often
but always from afar
The door that guards my heart
left permanently ajar
The first of all my memories
were passion, hate and fear
Eternities they have grown
and all i hold quite dear
I have lusted for rage
i have slept with greed
I have wrestled with compassion
and hunted with need
I have preached pity
and caressed kind
Jumped with joy
with care intertwined
I have raced with rude
and parried with pain
I have entrapped with envy
by loneliness slain
Rallied with righteous
walked with depressed
Traveled with want
with hope been dressed
I have gone with glory
fathomed defeat
I have lounged with lies
and darkened deceit
I have smelled suicide
and with agony paced
I have shivered with shame
and of victory taste
I have rolled in regret
but not for myself
For none of these dust
set back on a shelf
Each time i feel
it is long and hard
Though my soul is shaken
not one of these barred
For all of the lives
my being possessed
I find them all
i remember the best
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#51
I am as free as the wind
do not tie me down
Do not treat me as if i have sinned
you have been around
And just because i see more
do not make me pay
And just because you are unsure
have games to play
I am as free as the wind
do not tie me down
Do not treat me as if i have sinned
you have been around
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#52
When i was young i was all alone
even though he was there
Because he thought in a different tone
i felt he did not care
At times i hated him for reasons
i did not know
I was quick to plant unfriendly seeds
he never let them grow
I don't really know him but he's my friend
He doesn't know the pains
he's helped to mend
Mostly the feelings go unsaid
that's good words can confuse my head
Though i don't know exactly all that's right
I have needed him at times to be my light
I am wanting to exceed the hole
even though i still dig
I am trapped within my little cage
needing to be big
I just can't say what's in my heart
words do not define
It's a feeling within my soul
i guess forever mine
I don't really know him but he's my friend
He doesn't know the pains
he's helped to mend
Mostly the feelings go unsaid
that's good words can confuse my head
Though i don't know exactly all that's real
I can't say, brother,
how good you make me feel
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#53
There you sat
a stranger
an ornament of night
And i
a word arranger
you leapt into my sight
So i gave
pictured word
expecting nothing more
Yet so full
of written rage
your glances made me sure
Then, of course
time's power
i asked a moment's wait
Then, also, nerves
did shower
a hope almost too late
Became voices
without vision
and traces from within
And the wall's
first incision
acquaintances begin
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#54
The maids rule the chambers
the dogs are out to bite
The lord awaits the hazards
that lurk within the night
The air, dead and still
is thick with ghosts of haunted past
That prophet's lonely cry
the moon is made of blood at last
Darest thou that dreary street
do not you fear the hate
That fills each alley
guardest also every gate
Before the early hours
screams will be heard echoed loud
Death is not prejudice
it touches all from poor to proud
Can you not feel the tension
synthetic murder is the same
There is one that keeps on playing
and one who has lost the game
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#55
The winter wind on city streets
echoing footsteps without direction
Lamp posts sway shadows scurry
full moon's glow without affection
Fingers cold eyes that water
parents pray for son and daughter
Lonely footprints in the snow
undecided where to go
Silhouettes of leafless trees
skeletons dance in the breeze
Soft sweet snow that hides the trail
damp desire old and frail
But for home it is i yearn
bridges back that all did burn
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#56
A rabbit, frigid and shaking
amongst the wolves hungry wild
full moon hides within the clouds
from a young and innocent child
Fierce and chilled winter wind
without warmth to watch the sun
like the jury's last decision
seems the end you've just begun
Like the mice who grasp the sunset
as owls hunger fills the night
searching preyers fill the forest
danger prowls beyond our sight
Angelic symphonies always echo
mask of evil, song of fear
such lonely lack of satisfaction
shameless bold, a sparkling tear
Deep Shakespearean masquerade
alone an actor find the stage
Just as Earnest found a meaning
if the right words marred the page
Then, at last, Oswald's pleasure
in his own blood-drenched scene
such as Edgar's wretched writings
dead and gone, what does it mean?
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#57
Loneliness
is a very sad thing
an empty space
a burning pain
a cavity
growing bigger
harder to fill
a lack of reason
the act of frustration
silent awareness
that the past is void
and the future
may hold the same
it is as cold as night
as dark as black
a blind man
groping
grasping only
things which prove
he is lost
a prison cell
without a mate...
without a key!
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#58
The skies are dark with winter's fury
threatening to storm
And i sit in our place of meeting
coffee to keep warm
I think of past conversations
making every moment best
Now as days pass along life's travel
i put it to the test
I study thoughts, me as the jury
trying not to purge
Even but a single second
though it is temptation's urge
I put away those that are useless
keeping only the good
From what i see behind your eyes
the way that you, too, would
I have a book, though now at home
pages into start
And, as you said, it has begun
to touch my open heart
You are honest hope
of choices i can make
Of all i see, and all i say
and all that i can take
I pray that you not disappear
as many on my way
And that i do not offend
in any thing i say
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#59
I woke up last night
around quarter of two
I was feeling kind of lonely
and i really wanted you
I had been dreaming about
mad dogs in the dark
Cannot see where they are
just hear their echoed bark
A daisy in a field
all covered up with snow
Trees bent over
by cold wind's blow
The hollow howl
of a wolf, hungry and cold
The lonely call
of a man growing old
Crazy things i always think
are only there to hide away
The loneliness in the past
i woke up in the past today
If only a conversation
could last forever and again
I think i would start one with you
and spend forever with a friend
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#60
The snow of coming winter
topped by rain of passing fall
The scents of each's era
the sounds of each's call
There is talk that fills the air
there is no silence to be found
And, on our corner of the world
it comes as such a pleasant sound
When family gathers closely
in the spirit of the day
Reminiscent conversations
and tradition's games to play
Brother, mother, father, daughter
cousin, aunt and uncle
relations great, grand and small
And in the warmth of the reunion
there are smiles upon them all
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#61
The children play
on slides and swing
and from afar i sit and watch
and in their joy i laugh
The couples dance
slow in the eve
and from the bar i sit and watch
and in their joy i laugh
And many days
my heart does bleed
pains of life still mar
and though my eyes
are full of tears
i laugh
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#62
To My Librarian
As i stand, my mind is wandering
a peaceful look upon your face
Quietly you work the puzzle
until each piece has found its place
So many facts, great in value
come to you, every day
They might pass others
but you store them
to release in your own way
With such intent you read the knowledge
with such ease you lay it down
Without thought you play the peasant
when to me you wear a crown
With the urges of a scholar
you press to learn some more
And again i am standing
off behind just like before
Again you are sitting
unaware that it is me
If at last you would only notice
and to yourself give me the key
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#63
The values of others
distort their opinion
of the simpleness
in which mine exist
For out of their
own ignorance
does the thought
of my failure exist
Through failures
of their own
they allow not the thought
of my success
But the human race
will always be
aware of their wrongs
yet cannot confess
I value not the richest
extent or power
poems have that meaning
a talent all my own
But though i write
and need no help
i could not continue
if i were to find myself alone
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#64
Over in the big country
noon and midnight within its bound
Where rock is just beginning
and designer jeans are seldom found
Where rules are placed upon you
and there is no need to vote
Where freedom is a dream
across an ocean on a boat
Where cars are for the rich
and letters censors' view
Where the rights of many
are selected by a few
Where news is dictated
choose what to believe
Where home is decided
with little chance to leave
Where you watch what you say
or risk to disappear
Where even your religion
is practiced deep in fear
Where there are no discos
dancing far into the night
Just because they are wrong
it does not make US right
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#65
If i want to talk
...could you listen?
If i want to laugh
...could you with me?
If i want to dine
...could you join?
If i want some wine
...could you toast?
If i need to cry
...could you hold me?
If i need to fly
...could you try?
When i
...would you...?
May i
...know you?
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#66
The years fly by
so unobserved
and those who try
get left behind
The sun rises to everyone
so the waves crash
upon the jagged shore
The poor push to be rich
the rich, richer
the old die
either rich and lonely
or unsatisfied
Everyone is rushing
unorganized scurry to nowhere
all wanting what is in style
But i, a poet?
No! The Poet!
take time to notice
the beauty of the roses
and go on writing in my own world
While the rest
in their ignorance
push on to be something
something that they are not!
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#67
Fantasies
the world is full
of fantasies
not children's game
at all
I, first
admit
to fantasy
imagination's call
Around the world
and back again
in just
an afternoon
Passion growing
on summer's eve
escorted
by the moon
A chance to ride
an eagle's back
to mansions
in the sky
Should i pass up
a chance like this
my only chance
...to fly?
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#68
If i were Howard Hughes
i would buy you fields of flowers
'round a castle on a hill
you would be Queen of the ball
If i were Edgar Allen Poe
you to me would be
the thorn of my tear
and the cruel world would be shredded
and my pity would be in vain
If i were William Shakespeare
i would write plays for you
with clowns and jesters
just to watch you smile
from behind the curtain
on the stage
If i were Michelangelo
i would paints portraits of you
in gowns of gold
doves framing your sky
with your arms outstretched
beckoning me
a lonely tear in your eye
But i am not nor want to be
for i am thomas beal
the juggler of words
sometimes caged
with myths and idiosyncrasies
yet standing still
the penpainter
my mind silhouetted before you
in shadows of ink
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#69
Out on the edges
you can see where you have been
Hear the echoed laughter
see the struggles you had then
All the pretty faces
and all the ugly frowns
The desolate places
in the city with its clowns
You look back at the circles
figurative footsteps on the ground
Looks like a trapped animal
clawing dirt, going 'round and 'round
There are the non-believers
there is nothing you can say
They know
they will lose
but still they pretend to play
Then you turn from the vision
trying to learn from what you have seen
And tomorrow on the edges
you swear
you will know what they mean!
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#70
A world
full of countries
A country
full of counties
A county
full of cities
A city
full of blocks
A block
made up of streets
A street
full of buildings
A building
full of apartments
An apartment
full of rooms
A room
full of people
A person
full of thought
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#71
After the taverns and the bars close
and the lounges
have evicted all their stays
Suit coats of white
in the bathroom with their nose
while outside the losers make their plays
It's Breakfast Shoppe U. S. A.
late or early hour you decide
While the restroom church bows to pray
asking that they find another ride
Here where the laughter is shaded
strong coffee clears
the whiskey and the wine
Where the anger of others is baited
while second
or non-workers dine
It's Breakfast Shoppe U. S. A.
late or early hour you decide
While the restroom church bows to pray
asking that they find another ride
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#72
A poem
is easily written
if no meaning is implied
a poet
is also ruin
may he tread the shallow side
poetry
was not created
for word alone, written down
nor the fool
the talent given
of a poet, play the clown
A waste!
i again will shout
'tis my honor, 'tis my gain
an insult
i shall take it
write again, lest i shout in vain
i may be
the fool, so taken
yet i fool not with the skies
i waste not, nor the insult
my pen just paints
my heart just cries!
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#73
She is so sweet
lying there
her baby-blue eyes closed
her hair
rooted from dark to light
soft and silky
her smile
decorates
her angel face
she breaths so light
a flower
would not move
her eyes
move slowly
behind closed lids
and i wonder
what she might
be dreaming
and i am
satisfied
to watch her
for soon
i will smother her
with kisses
for i love her
very deeply
she is my baby
Jennifer
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#74
Music is a river
formed by many streams
Sometimes reality
often holding dreams
Quietly through forests
cascading over waterfalls
Dirty in the city
in hardly moves at all
There is room for the children
room for you and me
Current only to feel
waves that you can see
It tangles with our world
present on every shore
Always leaves you hanging
crying out for more!
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#75
I know the change, you cannot stay
but still i wish, you not away
I want you travel, as you might
not to block your soul's free flight
But in your dreams remember me
and in your mind my picture see
And know i hold your essence dear
and you are always welcome here
I thank you much for time you've shared
and for the ways you have cared
For soft greetings and waiting happily
for wanting near but letting me be free
But in your dreams remember me
and in your mind my picture see
And know i hold your essence dear
and always you are welcome here
' know i hold a place for you
that when you are lonely, i am, too
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#76
The world of honesty
is now in history books
pride now is only seen
within the liar's looks
And i am afraid
that the world is gone
the gentlemen and knights
to lay your trust upon
And valor is a scene
but lost to the stage
wasted are the efforts
that mourn this loss with rage
All that now is left
to be thankful for your friends
and straightening of thoughts
in the mind that still pretends
Not that hope is gone
but hope must be strong
in seeking what is left
travels hard and long
There are no more coats in puddles
and seldom opened door
as the bride in white today
is not as she was before
But still there are men
among the snakes and mice
alas, the long sought few
but worth all efforts' price
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#77
Have you the time
to bring a smile
to a stranger's face?
or a child's
broken toy
replace?
Have you the time
a lonely soul
to befriend?
a broken
heart
to mend?
Have you the time
to condemn
a world grown cold?
avoid
the absent-
minded old?
Have you the time
grave's flowers
to arrange?
Have you the time
to try and bring
a change?
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#78
All gorgeous, groomed and saddled
he stands against the wind
Poised with strength and passion
like a martyr who has not sinned
I mount myself upon him
race pastures he has grazed
Beneath the spreading elm
where often he has lazed
Now toned and tempered
fleeting the echoed beat
and riding in his gallop
i can feel his heat
If it were that i could see
his ever wanton eyes
Still again this moment
i would feel surprise
The stallion's lone desire
forever on the run
Wanting at the last
the surges he had begun
And i in his saddle
the power in my soul
Find delicately the tastes
he felt as a foal
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#79
You got your duties
and i got mine
In one way or another
we all toe the line
Everyone is exposed
to someone new
We either help or haunt
what they do
Do you think Shakespeare
was acknowledged then
You have been with someone great
but do not know when
So if you think you can
not change the way
Then be not cautious
to whom or what you say
But remember kings
are born as children, too
Then you may wonder
about me, and i you
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#80
Along my way
there came a person
receptive, warm and glad
Who helped me
through the storm
when things were bad
One who waited
for my visits
always with a smile
Although busy
decorated them
with laughter and with style
An ear that hears
and listens
to all that i have said
Has a life
and also problems
but wants to help instead
How could i
have failed to notice
who stood in front of me
This young person
is a woman
throughout and beautifully!
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#81
I smile
because of long conversations
of serious words and laughter
the time we spend
isn't just minutes and hours
days wasted seem far gone
When i talk to you
time seems to stand still
but when you are gone
it seems it was far too short
Neither exists the solitude
even when the words come
at the end of a movie
the screen is not gone
for another will come
It is not that you fail
to meet my expectations
but rather you far exceed
and my want burns beyond control
when we cannot be together
likewise the explanation
of my feelings for you
exceeds the communication of words
All there is for me to do
is to love you
and be glad
Because i am not just me
nor you just you
but you and i
are us!
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#82
Winter's wicked wind
begins to whirl around concrete
Autumn's swirling leaves
in colors dance complete
Overcoats appear
and many shoulders start to rise
For a time again
we see the watering of eyes
It is not too early
for a covering of snow
Migrating birds
have gone to where they go
Summer's excursions
have become stories by the fire
And rompings in the leaves
have caused the children to tire
Whistling skeletons
of shade trees from the heat
Summer's eternal battle
ever ending in defeat
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#83
As we walk
soft in the sand
we see a wave
crashing upon the rocks
but only those who hold it sacred
notice with each step
the grains of sand each unique
will never set this way again
and this wave
whom traveled far
and here its destiny
A wave was born across the sea
and its only worth
to crash upon the rocks
and shatter into mist
upon the summer's wind
Never on a hundred shores
has mist appeared this way
but someone keeps on walking by
never to comprehend
and all the beauty made for them
has truly gone to waste!
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#84
It started as a reason
to help me find my way
But now as that is plotted
i know that it shall stay
They call it conversation
but that sounds far too cold
Like the mind is mechanical
and the essence has been sold
I would rather say communion
soul to soul and clear
The mixture of being
innocent of fear
Not trying to change answers
only building what we know
Travel unrestricted
minds that want to grow
The roasting of reason
the warming of hearts
The building of stages
the acting of parts
The bloodline of knowledge
the apex of views
The origin of theory
the spreading of news
The meeting of strangers
the making of friends
The styling of eras
the invention of trends
The bridging of difference
the breaking of walls
Where snobbery stops
and arrogance falls
Where time does not tire
and class is destroyed
Where sex is forgotten
and racism void
Where thought is holy
and never defaced
Where love is taken
and quickly replaced
Where tongues can be silent
to listen and hear
A plane with no pilot
with no need to steer
Where laws of nature
have nothing to rule
Where youth's fountain leaves
an unguarded pool
Where there is human
and god, as one
Yet without pious
no evil is done
Philosophy follows
trails that are unique
And self-conscious ideas
find power to speak
Where the poor peasants
become kings and queens
And even the simple
see what it means
Where freedom exists
like never before
And no one can predict
what may be in store
Where there is laughter
where there is grace
Where there is velvet
where there is lace
Where there is shallow
where there is deep
Where there are treasures
one always will keep
Where there are tears
minus the shame
Where there is wild
and where there is tame
Where all are professors
yet no final exam
Where the wolf lies
by the unfrightened lamb
Where questions to tests
have no proper reply
Where there are no limits
such as the sky
Where nobody walks
and nobody rides
Where no one runs
and no one hides
Where there are mountains
with cliffs to climb
Where ignorance
is the only crime
Where there are wars
with no victims hurt
Battles of spirit
wills' tactics exert
Where parting is sorrow
yet hope of return
And unlike life's voyage
no bridges to burn
They call it conversation
a word that does not bind
I would rather think relationship
an intercourse of the mind!
Would love to hear your thoughts on this verse!
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