Diary of a Poet
Volume IV
Diary of a Poet
Volume IV
Dear Reader,
When i was sixteen i wrote poem #66, in which i asked myself, ...a poet?
, to which i replied, No! The Poet!
At sixteen years of age i desperately needed that feeling in order to make my writings worth the effort (At the
age of twenty-three i must have still needed that feeling, because #66 made it past the final edit for Just
Scribbled Words [copyright 1986]). When i was twenty-four i self-published my second book (The first one was lost in
the havoc of my life; Memories 1980 +/-), Just Scribbled Words. At that time i needed the series title,
Diary of The Poet, in order to believe my poetry was worth selling. I was twenty-five when waves of severe shame
overcame me because of the arrogance and ignorance i had displayed assuming such a title. That shame was quick
lived, though, and i realized that without that crutch of arrogance and ignorance i would have stopped writing
and trying to publish what i had already written (The efforts spent trying to get published just cost me reading
fees, along with offers, upon larger payments, of help in making my works publishable...). A second and third
volume followed the ' 86, ' 87 and ' 88 one hundred copy printings and sales of Just Scribbled Words (A Month with
Marie and Growing Still). A cascade of positive feedback from the sales of the three volumes (then the start of
the Diary of a Poet
series) gave me my basis for believing a poet was what i should be, and brought me,
eventually, to the time i was writing the following ms.
It took me two and a half decades to see that i was a distorted individual. It took me well over another year to
find something to do about it. Being with a woman who read a daily affirmation, and my own stubbornness to accept
others' ideas, gave me the idea for this daily poem writing. I had NO IDEA how repetitious an attempt to change
old beliefs would be! I did not know how deeply it would go inside of me. And i did not know how hard i would have
to work to continue it. I found that without the crutches of first, second and third person writing, and the fact
that the book was to be part of my series, i could not have finished it. (The fact that it was more intimate than
i was with any individual seemed of no consequence, fortunately! LOL) I am now, six years after its first run,
beginning to reread the poems in order to hang on to the diverse insight that my present lack of repetition has
caused me to forget...
(tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock)
Today (a now that is now ancient), December seventh, two-thousand and one, i find i could use several rereadings...
If you know ANYONE who might benefit from reading this, PLEASE let them! :)
I do hope you find some lines that touch your heart, or sing to your soul, as you read this!
#216 , #217 , #218 , #219 , #220 , #221 , #222 , #223
#224 , #225 , #226 , #227 , #228 , #229 , #230 , #231
#232 , #233 , #234 , #235 , #236 , #237 , #238 , #239
#240 , #241 , #242 , #243 , #244 , #245 , #246 , #247
#248 , #249 , #250 , #251 , #252 , #253 , #254 , #255
#256 , #257 , #258 , #259 , #260 , #261 , #262 , #263
#264 , #265 , #266 , #267 , #268 , #269 , #270 , #271
#272 , #273 , #274 , #275 , #276 , #277 , #278 , #279
#280 , #281 , #282 , #283 , #284 , #285 , #286 , #287
#288 , #289 , #290 , #291 , #292 , #293 , #294 , #295
#296 , #297 , #298 , #299 , #300 , #301 , #302 , #303
#304 , #305
16Feb88
#216
You are not the person
who heard love was a whip
And you are not the person
with lies upon your lips
You are not the person
who quivers in the dark
Listening to cruel master
too terrified to bark
You are not the person
who twists love to relieve
All the purpling pains of past
and their echoes of deceive
You are not the person
who runs from every toil
And the hex no longer holds
all that you touch will not spoil
You are not the person
who steals what he needs
Who prays for the punishment
to all his dirty
deeds
You are not the person
who must have all or bust
Who has forsaken love
for the thrills of lust
You are not the person
who gives anger control
Who cares not for his neighbor
and wants to burn his soul
You are not the person
who makes violence his way
That was long ago
that was yesterday
You are the person
who loves with all his heart
Who has not achieved completion
but has found completion's start
You are the person
in the mirror, deep brown eyes
Who loves himself at last
and is sorting out the LIES!
Top
T o C
17Feb88
#217
On the second day, already
you wonder, Will it work?
That, you must encounter
for it is their 'jerk'!
You can do most anything
if only you believe
Something small did happen
your doubts have first relieve
Good can now get better
it must not be pushed away
That is only what they did
it was not touched in say
Moods are your controlling
depression does not rule
Grief is just perspective
to be used as a tool
Top
T o C
18Feb88
#218
When your mind is set
there is nothing to retain
If this you not forget
you shall discover gain
Boundaries that keep hold
are boundaries you believe
All you must find is bold
with this you will achieve
Top
T o C
19Feb88
#219
Too much pride
of course can make you fall
But there is pain
in having no pride at all
Sometimes extremes
can create awesome verse
But without fail
in life it is reverse
There must be
a compromising middle ground
A sure plateau
where peace can be found
Top
T o C
20Feb88
#220
Anxiety deepens
a depressing mood
Grief is close
bright's interlude
Fear is a beast
in need of control
Fear let loose
is devastating in toll
Try and remember
all is not lost
Extreme again
has shown its cost
Next time will happen
not to anticipate
Remember in shadows
future is not fate
Top
T o C
21Feb88
#221
Your siblings were there
but they were not you
They have their own unfair
that hampers what they do
You are not the only one
just a family, small
Keep your view you have begun
but spread that view to all
Mistakes you have made have excuses
but they must come to end
The Earth is full of abuses
yet reality beats pretend
Top
T o C
22Feb88
#222
Run, run, run
it is getting old
The run's wind
now is getting cold
Stay for a while
stay until it hurts
Fear does not remain
it only comes in spurts
Top
T o C
23Feb88
#223
Dearest Jesus, Savior, Friend
thank You for another day
Help me listen, in myself
for things You have to say
Forgive me for the evil
so ignorantly i do
And help me use the talents
i have received of You
Give me what you have to offer
of love and joy and peace
Back me with your strength
my demons to release
Thank You, Lord
Top
T o C
24Feb88
#224
It is okay to write
it is a gift you were given
Things written have their night
from the ways you are driven
It was not your fault
the Beater was insane
Let its shades of failure halt
studied memory causes gain
Think of stories to release
real life horrors' grip
Let it out, find your peace
let pain's tears freely drip
Top
T o C
25Feb88
#225
You love
it is your own choice
your heart
can listen to its voice
Your love
is true and deep and sound
to your love
it is the best she has found
Your brain
is tainted shades of past
chance remains
after all that has passed
Your soul
is thoughtful and kind
good use
of your heart and mind
Top
T o C
26Feb88
#226
Confidence is illusive
but you can take hold
Its lack is obtrusive
insulating the cold
Choice is the matter
not destiny or fate
Demons hold the latter
until it is too late
Make your stand today
any stand you should
Begin a better way
a way you wish you would
Top
T o C
27Feb88
#227
When you wake
feeling good
it is not fake
just what should
Remember thoughts
that bring cheer
they are the oughts
and God is near
This is the way
contentment warm
to start each day
past is the storm!
Top
T o C
28Feb88
#228
Honesty is universal
white lies cause you pain
pretend is for children
and those who are insane
It is time for dealing
face to face with past
to face the cruel people
with hurt feelings, at last
Time to release your anger
that leads you to your grave
Only you see the answer
only you can save
No cruel reverberations
just bare, naked truth
Mend long open wounds
and purify your youth
Top
T o C
29Feb88
#229
Ten deep breaths
let the tension flow
holding it in
helps anxiety grow
Talk to a friend
or talk to yourself
don't set it back
on mind's dusty shelf
Find your release
be at ease with ease
worry is fatal
a faithless disease
Top
T o C
1Mar88
#230
Spring approaches
its warmth and growth
And inside
a spring-like oath?
Till the bed
and plant the seeds
Heart and head
have separate needs
Feeling flowers
and echoed weeds
Consideration
the gardener deeds
See the roses
watch the thorns
Remember winter
and winter's mourns
Top
T o C
2Mar88
#231
When has your worry
begotten achievement
When ever has anxious
any but bereavement
When has your sorrow
turned happy in tears
How often homeless
in all of your years
Faith in the Earth
may be beyond measure
But faith in its God
and daily, is treasure
So pray to His Son
and look for the flowers
Be kind to yourself
the ultimate of powers
Top
T o C
3Mar88
#232
Trust is a power
no matter how used
self is not bad
just badly abused
Echoes of madness
ring in your ear
but you are now free
and he is not here
Write all your stories
get out what you can
love mirror reflections
you are a wonderful man
Top
T o C
4Mar88
#233
Put downs are comic
but the hurt is real
You, of all people
know how they feel
Try to be nice
for all of one day
In all that you do
and all that you say
You might find the world
you have been looking for
With all of its people
and good things in store
Top
T o C
5Mar88
#234
Steps one and two
towards an ambition
Failure boils
and sorrow's submission
Yet you still stand
and push your goal
If punches come
than with them roll
It is your chance
past years' attempt
The final glory
or your own exempt
Top
T o C
6Mar88
#235
Friends are like food
we have delicacies
And what of the past
and its intimacies
Stages of close
that memory must keep
Good that went wrong
and now we just weep
Pains interfere
with love that was there
And jealousies left
stand a wall against care
So two people hurt
alone and apart
Inside and out
of a broken heart
Top
T o C
7Mar88
#236
Right and wrong are option
faith in self is need
Others get confusing
follow your own lead
Guilt a slithering serpent
hissing out your past
You must learn not listen
now becomes future fast
Turn away from the echoes
of madmen bent on pain
Remember that your failure
turns into their gain
Make at last your stand
on what you feel is right
Do that which you can
and turn to God for might
Top
T o C
8Mar88
#237
Wanting tomorrow
helps bury today
Makes now invalid
and spoils its array
Patience is solid
contentment is sure
Ease with your essence
lets caring and pure
Strive for your dreams
a step at a time
Gradually real
gives life rhythm and rhyme
Top
T o C
9Mar88
#238
To walk away is sometimes wise
need no excuse nor alibis
Flustered thoughts do not produce
anger taut can only reduce
Recess the pain when e'er it builds
when vented calm it no longer kills
Top
T o C
10Mar88
#239
Everything that you do
is signed with your own name
What you write is judged
treat actions just the same
Be proud to add your touch
what no one else can do
Give every day your best
to make your whole life true
Top
T o C
11Mar88
#240
Anxiety is reverberation
of the echoes in your mind
Accept each one separate
life is redefined
Replace them with your own
of faith, victory and good
Release them every day
their voice ne'er understood
Get to know yourself
without the judgment past
Be free to yourself
let go their shit at last
Top
T o C
12Mar88
#241
All that comes natural
for echo's tired ear
Is total hesitation
caused by pain and fear
Only self-confidence
can cure failure's trail
Only new-formed beliefs
can make the echoes stale
Top
T o C
13Mar88
#242
Every new day
is a new chance
To keep the same
or try to enhance
Look at the good
look at the bad
Review failure's reasons
at chances you've had
Make this day
one not to forget
You have not lost
it all...yet
Top
T o C
14Mar88
#243
Believing in self is functional
the only sure way of do
Without it dreams are synthetic
with it goals can come true
It is a singular act
a solo action of brave
The only means to freedom
the only escape from slave
It starts in the mirror each morning
and again at each step of the day
It eases the myth of entrapment
and is proven the only way
It returns in tastes of contentment
and causes the echoes to cease
It comes with the blood of labor
attached to an inner peace
Top
T o C
15Mar88
#244
Decide what you do
is just what you should
the mirror reflection
is basically good
Forget all the ground rules
that you laid unaware
start again from the bottom
with rules that are fair
Set no conditions
for love spent within
list all your assets
and know you will win
Top
T o C
16Mar88
#245
You must admit
that you were taught lies
So part of it
was truth's compromise
Yet to change
you must face fact
Self estrange
the habited act
Stop the games
all the fantasy
Cure the lames
and learn to see
Top
T o C
17Mar88
#246
Second month still trying
this time you have it right
Inside you are still crying
but every day must have its night
Keep reading what you have written
let new tapes replace the old
Remember once you were smitten
but now you have found bold
Time to reach your destination
and then leave it behind
Accept your own determination
and the fact that you once were blind
This is a taste of confidence
level one of the climb
Your good now has evidence
which will build with time
Top
T o C
18Mar88
#247
Begin the start of travel
with the Apple in your eye
Take the watch writer
capture it in dye
Enjoy the strange culture
watch the many faces
Remember it is people
who create these places
Leave your guilt behind
do not let it spoil the scene
Leave friends when you return
to flower what you have seen
Top
T o C
19Mar88
#248
It does not matter
where you are
Whether home
is near or far
You wake with self
that is all
So you should learn
to hear self's call
This is life
just once around
And there is joy
to be found
Top
T o C
20Mar88
#249
High expectations
are necessity
But too high
can be tragedy
Look for the good
but make it too
Even old visions
can be seen anew
Set your standards
at an achievable height
Forgiving your soul
purifies your sight
Top
T o C
21Mar88
#250
Plans that fail
were meant that way
For better things
on another day
Do not grieve
it works out best
It may just be
another test
Take what comes
and plan again
Believe in God
just live with men
Top
T o C
22Mar88
#251
You are not responsible
for forces from without
Just for how you take it
that is what guidance is about
If your plans are interrupted
it is only for the best
Regroup your future tactics
or give them needed rest
Take ways that are offered
wish not for ways dissolved
Be patient and kind-hearted
the dilemma will be resolved
Top
T o C
23Mar88
#252
No one is left
accusing
just the memory
that screams inside
You are free
for refusing
and free to build
your own pride
No one is left
for beatings
and the bruises
have gone away
So what of the lamb
and its bleatings
they are useless
i am sorry to say
Everyone has
their own horror
dreams that put sweat
into night
And everyone
is always sorer
from the battles
within their own fight
Your answer
is only within
the part of you
tattered and torn
The pain does not die
with begin
but its blade
is eventually worn
Top
T o C
24Mar88
#253
Go one step deeper
get closer to the core
Be a self-reaper
that is what life is for
See imperfections
they are what make you you
Lose the protections
you've seen what they can do
Know your own beliefs
know that others exist
Share your own reliefs
and efforts that have missed
Love is in communion
and failure falls to laze
No one is immune
to strive in better ways
Top
T o C
25Mar88
#254
Tomorrow is a big word
for which you have no control
It is only in fantasy
and keeps you less than whole
Today is somewhat smaller
yet, still along the same lines
In morn' is mostly future
and holds the same confines
Now is the substantial present
all that is truly yours
Moments that can be let pass
so quickly becoming befores
Take grasp of reality's essence
and charge of that which you can
Let nothing cause you to release it
if you do just grasp it again
Top
T o C
26Mar88
#255
Faith is a human aspect
a power of inner source
The cure for dust in the wind
a way to set your own course
Decide your own destiny
believe that it will come true
Leave nothing to chance and fantasy
for combined they form your rue
Become just what you want
vainby knowing that you can
Forbid the child's disbelief
use the knowledge of your man
Top
T o C
27Mar88
#256
Today i can be happy
God has granted all my needs
Not only do i help myself
but in others have planted seeds
I have my own reasons for living
and i am learning to enjoy
My failures are not eternal
merely signs of my little boy
Achievements are based on my knowing
shortcomings are sure ways of learn
I am not hexed to direction
but can choose whenever to turn
Today i can be happy
a proper use of my choice
Not from listening to others
but from hearing my own inner voice
Top
T o C
28Mar88
#257
Do the best you can
yet still try to learn
Be good to yourself
yet still show concern
It is okay to make mistakes
non-admittance is the only wrong
Ignorance is only uneducation
hiding it is in no way strong
Be what you can be
and try to grow
Any evolution
must come slow
Top
T o C
29Mar88
#258
Today i replace tapes
others have put in my mind
Those intellectual rapes
that have left me so far behind
I did with my egotist
it got me from there to here
But i had not learned to resist
or to live with my daily fear
Today i need not be the best
to believe i am not the worst
I find strength within my own zest
i have only been humanly cursed
I watch my own ways of try
and pat my own back if need be
I see without anyone's dye
i am more than alive, i am free
Top
T o C
30Mar88
#259
Love thy neighbor as thyself
so self-love is assumed
Yes, even with the faults
the anger and pain entombed
You are the best you can be
each day better turns to gold
Leave the memories to decompose
else today be thoughtless sold
Reach for heaven in your heart
keep your feet upon the ground
Reach inside with honest hand
it is where present's peace is found
Top
T o C
31Mar88
#260
Communication works relationship
not limited to any one kind
Talk to family, friends and lover
have an affair with your own mind
Honest words only have worth
silence beats pretend and lie
Honest pain is sad's only good
it seems to be improvement's pry
Ask yourself what you really feel
and analyze the reasons why
The truest smile only comes
after the deepest release of cry
Top
T o C
1Apr88
#261
Today begins another month
and peace is closer still
The daily struggle all relies
on exercise of the will
The rebellion formed to fight
dysfunction in the past
Has served its only good
and now it must be passed
Remove the fight within
it holds the good side down
For freedom to begin
release rebellion's crown
Top
T o C
2Apr88
#262
Sometimes the best things happen
when plans have gone to hell
After we have mourned the loss
it all turns out quite well
So realizing how life is
has a lot to do with view
And being at the bottom
can be a sign of wanted blue
Sometimes the slower times
may be needed for repose
To review one of life's weeds
and find it is a rose
Top
T o C
3Apr88
#263
Let go again your fear
it is another day
Let go again your tear
and try another way
Focus on something great
then reach for it with care
And maybe set a date
for when you should be there
Each moment undecided
is what your lower power steals
The longer this is brided
the more risk it never heals
Top
T o C
4Apr88
#264
The confines of true relationship
are only those self-implied
Rules seen or in the past
are of times that were not tried
Regulation is from within
a self-analysis of fair
Power struggles from without
are from those who do not care
Decide your own personality
keep your own self in line
Leave others with their own choice
responsibility's border is fine
Top
T o C
5Apr88
#265
Today i can find simple joy
no major event need take place
Today i can play my boy
let small invention light my face
Today i must not be complicated
in order to be fulfilled
Today i can let go more lies
that so long my peace have killed
Today i can just be myself
and not worry what others think
Today i complete love's chain
by adding my ease's link
Top
T o C
6Apr88
#266
Learn not to fear failure
or anticipate its fall
Those who never fail
can never have at all
Failure must proceed success
or elation could not be
Loss is part of life's expanse
the surest sign of free
Learn to accept yourself
you will never fail within
Inner glory must come first
for outward to begin
Top
T o C
7Apr88
#267
Today i will be careful
not to cause anyone pain
My actions and my words
can bring me loss or gain
Today i will put labor
into meeting at least one goal
I will reach beyond my body
in attempts at building soul
Today i will consider
once again what i have been taught
And try to hold it precious
for it is the only day i've got
Top
T o C
8Apr88
#268
Believe in yourself
and do not let you down
Bad comes with the good
but you do not have to frown
Believe in what you do
start simple, see it's true
Believe in just one day
rejoice when it is through
Believe for just a moment
dreams are things you can
Try a little harder
you will be a better man
Top
T o C
9Apr88
#269
Today i am new
my slate is clean
And all that i do
is okay to be seen
Today i am free
of judges unheld
To see what i see
let my own thoughts meld
Today i decide
that i am my rule
No longer to hide
like a cowering fool
Top
T o C
10Apr88
#270
My thoughts ascramble
my pen awaits
i write it down
My heart is city
my soul is free
within a little town
My reasons forming
as days unfold
there has to be a way
The cover's open
the page is blank
and what have i to say
It is hard, little children
but peace, alas
can be found!
Top
T o C
11Apr88
#271
There is no need for fretting
you have a home and things to eat
You have an improving relation
that communication makes complete
Take all old worries' energy
and put it into thought
Read all the pages you have filled
rearranging into ought
Yes, young writers may ne'er be heard
but, of course, it must be said
Drain that innocence with your pen
so you can see for real instead
Top
T o C
12Apr88
#272
Awkward situations come
but patience spreads its ease
And suddenly i realize
the efforts shown to please
People try with feelings true
not all are lost in vain
Concern exposed in quiet times
makes up for any pain
Toiled reward is better still
than any come what may
I may yet learn, eventually
to work at every day
Top
T o C
13Apr88
#273
Learn to find joy in the tedious
life will be full and complete
Vent anger at first and honest
and it will not leave you beat
Learn to accept the lesser things
and much more will come your way
Learn how to toil and endure
and accomplishments will array
Learn to be at ease with self
and loneliness will lose its throe
Educate yourself continuously
in the ways you want life to go
Top
T o C
14Apr88
#274
Today i will remember
that freedom works two ways
If i try to rule anyone
then the tower surely sways
Today i will be patient
with those who might be slow
Be silent to tiny victories
that they also can grow
Today i have decided
my will can beat my past
That messages of old
are released their rule, at last
Top
T o C
15Apr88
#275
Mutual is functional
dependency is not
Laziness is habitual
and soon you can be caught
Arrogance is optional
confidence is need
Peace is prerequisite
and effort is the seed
Accomplishment is chained
each phase a single link
Endurance is the exercise
that puts you on its brink
Top
T o C
16Apr88
#276
Communication deals in word
and definitions get confused
Every sentence is different heard
by the past of each person fused
Explanations are there to ask
for all that is not plain
Interpretation is a dual task
that unattempted causes pain
Honesty still remains the rule
held higher than the rest
While emphasis is the only tool
to carry the meaning best
Top
T o C
17Apr88
#277
Be your own person
no matter what is said
Rule your own body
control your own head
Decide your own actions
and do not be ashamed
Attack your own angers
struggle until they are tamed
Think your own thoughts
let no other persuade
Rejuvenate your past
release all that others laid
Be kind to yourself
until it can be counted on
Be kind to those around
for memories when they are gone
Be sure of every move
so that there is no regret
Return tenderness in kind
so your heart is not in debt
Be honest but with grace
so no unneeded pain is caused
Merely begin again
should you find that you have paused
Pray for things that you need
for wishing does no good
Do not let chances pass
left wondering if you could
Do as you would have done
so that your pain is purified
Fail when failure must
but always know that you have tried
Top
T o C
18Apr88
#278
Life is a collage of phases
splashed with so many shades
A succession of intricate mazes
where innocence eventually fades
Change the inevitable forecast
pride the most hinderant vice
Memory the guide which encompasses
age the unavoidable price
Record the thoughts evolutioned
to understand your ultimate end
Create your own constitution
with amendments that allow you to bend
Top
T o C
19Apr88
#279
Depression i understand
elation is just a dream
Peace is not my comfort
no matter how it may seem
Confrontation is my history
a bottle is my home
Good feelings are a stranger
i release into a poem
Contentment is a victory
no matter how i play
Anger an aphrodisiac
my heart remains affray
Joy is only mythical
like Santa Clause and Peter Pan
My mind is molded in the past
and i am a miserable man!
Top
T o C
20Apr88
#280
Something inside
is evolving
but that is okay
Suddenly
i am changing
a little bit every day
I do not have
to be fearful
change is a natural state
Just continue to wake up
each morning
by wiping clean my own slate
Top
T o C
21Apr88
#281
Be happy with yourself
then what you do will be okay
Treat others with care
you will be treated the same way
Ask your questions to yourself
others can only answer theirs
Do not push them so hard
they are tired from their own wears
Be at ease with simple things
boredom will not gain its rule
Listen to the world around
for it is your only school
Top
T o C
22Apr88
#282
Being honest with yourself
comes in stages
Like reading your own book
of many pages
Accepting just one truth
changes so many more
Until sometimes it seems
you will never be sure
But surety comes of choice
choices that you make
And putting off decisions
will only cause a fake
Earnest effort is victorious
where stubborn slows you down
Procrastination is a pool
where many people drown
Do today what you must do
and let tomorrow be
You have no control
over things you cannot yet see
Top
T o C
23Apr88
#283
A relationship is intricate
a feelings, thought and memory collage
Romance is the hardest kind
when the past is an abuse barrage
Words trip certain triggers
defenses are silent, cold
The major crimes are talked about
but little ones are seldom told
When both sides see the same
one must make the way
The right things are the deepest
so the hardest things to say
Top
T o C
24Apr88
#284
It is completely astounding
what comes from things we don't want
We procrastinate until the last
'til the simple turns to haunt
And finally once we have started
we find it is not so bad
That the horror was just imagined
and we gain what we wished we had
The end result we have prayed for
can come from so many a source
The situations encountered
would not have come from our course
So to grieve over plans misconstrued
is a waste, if we finally would see
For always, we do what we must
and needs are met eventually
Top
T o C
25Apr88
#285
See what needs to be done
then take positive actions
Every situation can be seen
as a loss or an attraction
Toil can be tedious
but it takes up your day
So bear it with a smile
it is the only good way
Try thinking in assets
and friendships there made
Take a little for savings
for the plans you have laid
Choose things most rewarding
to do at the day's end
To fulfill your ambitions
so there is no place for pretend
Bring self to life's center
and watch greed disappear
All that there is missing
is only that which you fear
Judge yourself fairly
let all others go free
Their's is not your responsibility
it is only for you to see
Think every action before it is done
be sure it is the best you can do
Thank every day when it goes by
for it is the best of the new
Top
T o C
26Apr88
#286
People you have let know
think you are worth the time
Keeping yourself from the world
is becoming your own crime
The consequence of exposure
is much less than that of recluse
You were trained in off methods
now you are continuing their
abuse
The things that keep you going
are the things that you hide
And reasons you get lesser treatment
are because they cannot see inside
It is time to be your own man
to risk the things that you want
Or become a 'model citizen'
walking so full of haunt
Top
T o C
27Apr88
#287
Sometimes it seems there are no choices
but you decide the options you can take
Sometimes inside has too many voices
and every intuition seems a mistake
Waiting can be the hardest part
to answers for the questions that you ask
Time seems to tick into the heart
and ease becomes the most involving task
This is when effort begins to show
when past begins to drip into the now
Remember your new messages as you go
so next time you will already know how
Top
T o C
28Apr88
#288
Do not pressure yourself
as you have been in the past
For you know what pushing does
and the effort does not last
Be at ease in all attempted
do not set your goals to fail
That is the reason for this writing
that is the reason that you ail
Try to set your steps in sequence
the way you first learned how not to fall
Try to learn one thing at a time
no one can at once achieve it all
Balance yourself on those things sure
the way it was all begun
And before you even know it
you will find that you can run
Top
T o C
29Apr88
#289
Grief is natural in process
a step toward letting go
Things that have touched the heart
in process are usually slow
Time does not heal all wounds
but toil in earnest is sure
So even the soul that is scarred
can one day again be pure
You are your own judge and jury
and you can decide to go free
If you pardon all past shortcomings
you can allow yourself to just be
Punishment is for intention
the whole of your person has done
Until you have sorted your spirit
you are entirely deserving of none
Forgiveness is often the hardest part
when self is the one to receive
But you are the most deserving
do not let past echoes deceive
Cleaning your slate is ritual
a practice to habit with time
Guilt is only self-destruction
and remains the last inner crime
Remember the ways you have faltered
acknowledge the losses of past
Learn from the lessons rejected
chances of relapse are vast
Give yourself one day of freedom
accept that that freedom is due
Thank God for making it possible
and yourself for chances anew
Top
T o C
30Apr88
#290
It is not the final burst
that wins the race
But from the start
in keeping pace
Sometimes it isn't best or worst
but shades of grace
Where truths of heart
are shown in face
Effort exercised is gain
be it big or small
The hardest thing you have to do
is take down your own wall
The greatest risk is that of pain
if possibly you fall
But there are those who made it through
just listening for your call
Top
T o C
1May88
#291
You are surrounded by people
that given the chance will care
But unless you risk exposure
you will not know they are there
Be honest first and open
with no guidelines set
For others are the same
and they do not forget
Treat people at all times well
they will treat you the same in turn
Release your wants to teach
yet be open still to learn
There are many ways to comfort
and friendship leads the line
Give help when help is needed
and thou shalt be given thine
Top
T o C
2May88
#292
Point of view is reality
every person has their own
Finding out where it came from
can be hard, once you have grown
Everything that has been told
has an echo in your ear
When you are down and all is hopeless
poor example then is near
Hope can only come from habit
hard to earn if it was not taught
It is possible to change
even all depressive thought
Top
T o C
3May88
#293
Getting real is not easy
at the start or down the line
Getting close opens options
and one step backwards can be fine
Part of life is learning failure
not how to do but how to take
The risk of effort is not total
and the gains that you can make
Learn to love and be love worthy
give your heart but do not sell
Learn that others have their own choices
and even rejection can be taken well
Learn that view is in distinction
that what you need is what you get
Learn to take no for an answer
that some things asked are not ready yet
Top
T o C
4May88
#294
Open up your wings
and learn to fly
There are so many things
that you can try
Top
T o C
5May88
#295
Take care of things you can
and give the others some time
Look back at your fading past
life always seems to keep in rhyme
Struggle is time for learning
so your learning must not be done
How could you appreciate ease
if your life had given you none
Find that small things have joy
and that patience always wins
Just as no one comes to repentance
until they have admitted their sins
Hard times are not a punishment
but a strengthening of your soul
To help you define what victory means
enhancing the span of your whole
Top
T o C
6May88
#296
Today i will believe in me
that i have my own choice
It will not matter what others say
i will hear my own voice
Today i will make the moment count
for all i have is here and now
Today i will forget past mistakes
i will find a way somehow
I was born a precious child
and i am a precious man
I was ruled by others then
but now i decide my span
Today i will be who i am
not led by what others think
I have reached the surface once again
and this time i will not sink
Top
T o C
7May88
#297
Sometimes progress is slow
patience gets tested again
Now seems like the past
suddenly it's way back then
But now you have faith
that things will be okay
Now you have learned that struggle
is part of the growing way
Top
T o C
8May88
#298
You can do anything
when your mind is made
And build upon yourself
once your base is laid
Keeping your direction
is practice, every day
In love and self affection
both in do and say
Top
T o C
9May88
#299
Sometimes you have to talk
to know exactly how you feel
Sometimes until it is said aloud
the thought is not quite real
Sometimes it is time itself
that ebbs away at thought
That erodes the base of thinking
until suddenly it is not
We humans now are mortal
thus the feelings held inside
But words on page are different
they neither tire nor hide
Write down all that you can
then review the black and white
The change you will see in self
will be as that of day and night
Top
T o C
10May88
#300
It is okay to plan for better
and not expect the worst
You were only brainwashed
you were never cursed
It is okay to hate the actions
that someone else has done
But to hate the very person
and the abuse has rebegun
It is okay to grieve a lost one
be it person, thought or deed
But depression is suicidal
and thrives on stealing need
It is okay to let your guard down
and let other people in
For true friends help you celebrate
every time you win
Top
T o C
11May88
#301
Today i will be happy
with everything i do
I will not wish things were different
when the day is through
Today i will be at ease
with the man i have become
I will not look at how far i have to go
but at how far i have come
Today i will rejoice aloud
and let others see my joy
I will let myself play
to release my little boy
Today i will replace the echoes
with these words of mine
And forget 'their' accusations
for i know that i am fine
Top
T o C
12May88
#302
Sorrow is part of life's complex
where strength is measured and will
In joy our good thoughts come ease
the power is in having them still
The times that need is delayed
are times our person can grow
Where strength and patience are tested
and all of the gain that we know
Depression is life's worst addiction
advancement then must be the best
If the worst can be beaten
dysfunction can all be put to rest
Misery comes in its quota
it is part of the mortal way
Misery grieved and released
brings ecstasy on a coming day
Top
T o C
13May88
#303
When things do not go as planned
there is a reason we may not see
And what we are left with
is what was supposed to be
When important events are hampered
yet promises must be kept
We are forced to act unaided
or be by misfortune swept
Sometimes it becomes a victory
that increases the action's worth
Inside is built a confidence
that would not have seen its birth
We are again by struggle strengthened
so that our ires are seen anew
Then future's failure's facets
are dwindled down to few
We find more of life's wonders
and a little more of self
We find that it is more seldom
that our needs set on wait's shelf
Top
T o C
14May88
#304
Tomorrow runs in circles
of if-s and do-s and why-s
While yesterday sits silent
and often times it cries
Today starts out the prior
though ends the latter note
The two are sky and ocean
with here and now the boat
Even the best of swimmers
will drown in yesterday
And who do you know that flies
so there is no other way
Now is just a moment
all else is just a dream
Eternity is a halted second
and not what it might seem
Live the 'now' of Edgar Allen
for he was surely right
Heaven is that second
and thought is close to light
Top
T o C
15May88
#305
The heat of the summer sun
begins to end spring's chill
Just as the spirit born anew
begins to strengthen its will
The labor of this morning mass
has turned to a labor of love
And i look at the ires of past
that i now have risen above
I have learned the first stage of peace
on the stairs to eternity's tower
I have learned the comfort of ease
as well as the hope of its power
I have reached a stage of success
my writing has helped at least one
I have reached a stage of reality
my 'here and now' has begun
Top
T o C
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