Diary of a Poet
Volume XV
Diary of a Poet
Volume XV
Dear Reader,
This wonderful book will keep your mind actively seeking comparisons between your memories and
reflections and that of the poets, while easily propelling you back and forth from past to
future. Many of the poems within reflect upon events that profoundly affect man's life during
the various periods of evolutionary growth. This book is quietly reflective and provides the
reader the opportunity to savor some of life's tiny challenges that occur on a daily basis.
Trish MacQueen
( Once a princess
at Poetry Palace
Palace Poets
Volume XX
Poetic Ponderings)
I do hope you find some lines that touch your heart, or sing to your soul, as you read this!
#1063 , #1064 , #1065 , #1066 , #1067 , #1068
#1069 , #1070 , #1071 , #1072 , #1073 , #1074
#1075 , #1076 , #1077 , #1078 , #1079 , #1080
#1081 , #1082 , #1083 , #1084 , #1085 , #1086
#1087 , #1088 , #1089 , #1090 , #1091 , #1092
#1093 , #1094 , #1095
#1063
...this moment...
Spent a buck and a quarter
on paper and ink
and that isn't too hard to do
Packaged samples and a proof
for number eighteen
now the wait for their point of view
Rain postponed the money game
for another day
on a week already one short
The van needs some cosmetics
and maybe a belt
low on the priority sort
The wife needs another cruise
to ease the havoc
decades in a fact'ry can cause
Just colorful additions
to life and living
good thing there are not any flaws!
Top
T o C
#1064
ASHEN
That black spot
the Manson bit of psych
that is part of all
Is pain hot
all fingers jam the dyke
or suffer its call
All exposed
the balance of the scale
do your efforts kill?
Violence posed
cannot ignore the hail
turns it into thrill
Insane rush
the martyr's addict cry
where weakness does bleed
Until crush
the call's echo to die
midst its ashen seed
~end~
Top
T o C
#1065
Almost Humorous
It is almost humorous
how long now a post remains
Dangling there for days
on the front pages as if in chains
Got me thinking of posting of yore
when an hour's stay was long
A thousand posts a day?
or was it not QUITE that strong?
One hundred-twenty-five friends
for five hours after work
Inspiration's enticing
bordering on berserk
And might that be the good ole days
we trade in fractions now?
Just as if yesterday
had a single field to plow...
Top
T o C
#1066
Center Court
So many dreams fall by the wayside
as time pulls us through its loops
So many hopes age into dejection
as ambition soon tires and droops
All of the knowledge of adolescence
flutters away like caterpillars climbing
While the void is slowly filled with fragments
of Truth that in human lack has been chyming
As days fly past in their most glorious flurry
and moments tick into our epochs of hours
We follow the lead of kings eyed before us
realizing at last the mockery of their powers
So we stand in the end alone with the lonely
taking breaths of the latter days less furiously
Striving to be a part of the person envisioned
looking upon the mundane even more curiously
Finally learning the sure practice of perfect
for the love of the act without thought of reward
Ever growing in grateful for all of the players
forgetting altogether to keep track of who scored
Top
T o C
#1067
Dawn
What does the newness
of today reveal
that has yet
to show its face?
And what is there now
in my heart to feel
of which memory
has no trace?
What brings the Muse
of which i could not yen
that has not been
scrolled to page?
How can i release
the blood of this pen
to free the
immortal Sage?
Top
T o C
#1068
Destiny
I look out
into the sea of art
and waves are all i see
Brush strokes and words
and dance are some forms
taken in artist bee
An ocean of
inspiration looms
practice like grains of sand
And we work ourselves
to death with joy
as it was always planned
Top
T o C
#1069
Echoes
Reminiscent whispers
sink their fangs into my heart
while echoes of the loves i lived
seek vengeance in turn
Don't corrosive atmospheres
lend grievance to the part
won't the winds of time erase
these memories that burn
Vipers now fill the darkness
where hope once used to be
goblins haunt the alleyways
where dreams turned to explore
The innocence that spent its life
fighting to be free
now staggers fate's street at night
a disillusioned whore
Top
T o C
#1070
Happy Anniversary
Remember sharing the hymnal
remember the one year wait
remember Franklin Delano
whose term was faltered by fate
Remember God's test with your firstborn
remember the strength it brought
remember next New York City
the mission at which you taught
Remember then little David
family was started again
did you see it in his cradle
he would teach so many men
Remember the little church
and cold winters in Maine
remember the blessing of twins
your testing was not in vain
Now two sons and a daughter
two cradles for John and June
did you even realize
they all would grow so soon
Remember the hardships of war
remember the prayer for the boys
watching the children unaware
in the yard playing with toys
Remember the sound of the bomb
had man out-stepped his bound
remember rationalizations
how long before reason was found
Remember again a son was born
your family completed with Paul
remember the ride to the West Coast
the air of adventure in all
Remember the 'ware of T. V.
remember its purchase at last
remember the first man in space
how it happened so fast
Remember the cruelty of 'Nam
how father wished it were him
remember the nights on knees
how grace then seemed so slim
Remember the flourishing home
and the daughters then begot
remember the souls that were saved
pray for those that were not
Remember the growing store
how bountiful God can be
remember the marriage of last born
release with uncertainty
Remember the birth of grandchildren
remember the first signs of age
remember life is eternal
and Earth is just one page
Well now there are four generations
and reunions are far spread
all whom are affected
by the loving life you've led
Remember most of all
from the world you've seen
of the times of feasting
and famines, hunger lean
It is not just half a century
the blessing of above
but the lives of two people
lived through good and bad with love
The fiftieth anniversary
of my now deceased grandparents
Earl Wilbur and Minerva Ghalliger Beal
1994
Top
T o C
#1071
I Remember
I remember when
the world was waiting
For the greatest sage
that had ever been
I remember when
the words were dating
Phrases eloping with
each other's yen
And i remember
the poet's birthing
Its infant love verse
to the great beyond
I remember each
new era's girthing
The blood-sweat tears
of each new freedom fawned
I remember every
pen-slashed riot
Every page i crumpled
in failure's view
I remember the
decade of quiet
When i guess the bard
had fulfilled its due
I remember the
paperback version
When the time to be
known had finally come
And i remember that
dream's perversion
When hopes for millions
became cries for some
I remember the
ThoughtCafe hours
Writers with brilliance
and verse by the yard
I remember its
sweets and its sours
How paradise falling
lands, oh, so hard
I remember when
genius was teasing
Or was it a dream
from another time
And i remember my
life's breath wheezing
For one more moment
of glorious rhyme
Top
T o C
#1072
If I Had Only Realized
Way back when i knew it all
and all of it that was so wrong
If only then i'd just stood tall
not listened to self-pity's song
Way, way back when answers were clear
to questions i sometimes forget
If i'd just pulled all that was dear
all those goals i haven't reached yet
Pulled through the rules they made unfair
through the system falling apart
Those dreams might be more than just dead air
and i'd have less scars on my heart
If i had only realized
how quickly the ticking can pass
Those dreams i once visualized
might be more than age in the glass
Top
T o C
#1073
Living
What is the reason for the horror?
The terror that seems to rule
What makes the next season sorer?
The phantom that leaves hope the fool
Is there no end to the dirge?
Lamenting the passing of days
No design sought out by the clergy
That conquers this age-old maze?
Top
T o C
#1074
Misinterpreted Dreams
I thought i was suppose
to build a Palace
And yes cyber is not
quite what i thought
But i tried not to balk
at the difference in chalice
So to the web
i went and bought
First round i bought
some FTP space
Not the dream of
a design illiterate man
So i purchased
some drag and drop options
And dove in
with no explainable plan
Maybe the time
had come for that bard
That in youth
had written great verse
But attraction
proved to be too hard
Or there remained
some invisible curse
Then an answer
came targeting others
Bringing poets
and promise and toil
An act aimed at
the bonding of brothers
Dangling victories
and reaches and spoil
Yet nine months
found only the poor house
After a guaranteed promise
of aided success
So that instead
of a prince and a palace
I was back to the empty
church as a mouse
Progress was placed
back on the wait list
As i continued with too
many day to day tasks
Finding the pen does not
write well in a clenched fist
And success can wear
way too many masks
Having a baker's dozen
poets out on the field
All trying to play the same
game at the same time
Is not really a failure
to which one should yield
But proof in the full
of the eternal of rhythm and rhyme
(A poem dedicated
to the Palace Poets,
who joined in on
the misadventures of
PoetryPalaceGiftShop.com.
Thank you, all! :) )
Top
T o C
#1075
My First Trip To Disney World
(Part 1)
The airport experience
has gotten less thrilling
though the pleasantries
did not completely disappear
If one does feed
the stray cat of fear it is chilling
it would seem that most avoid
that measure of severe
So hours later that are stretched
by rules to follow
one achieves their destination
and discomforts fade
Though the norm looks to be
a deep breath, sigh or swallow
these only hint at the scars
of inner turmoil's blade
The gap of the reach
thus committed to one's hist'ry
ill packed baggage is claimed
boasting seals of the searches
Grouped travelers then sleuth
through the shuttle bus myst'ry
and enjoy sardine seating
through bumps, turns and lurches
With knee bruises tingling
and elbows breathing more space
plastic card access affords
the square key and a room
Thus the holiday soldier
has munitions in place
and readies to battle
the morrow's waiting line doom
Top
T o C
#1076
My First Trip To Disney World
(Part 2)
Sunday morning dawned
with temp'ratures almost freezing
Wind chill warnings for weather
New England would feel glee
Rubbed the Mrs.' knit-gloved hand
in an act of teasing
Waiting to find what
in Animal Kingdom we'd see
A walk through a search
and a pleasant plastic entry
Left us lost beneath signs
pointing in all directions
Thankfully the flow guided
us to the site's sentry
Treasure maps pointing
out adventure's confections
Discovering what she meant
by a lot of walking
We searched for Restaurant
-assaurus to stomach growl
Breakfast plans were heard
as we passed huddled groups talking
We were not the only
Neanderthals on the prowl
Top
T o C
#1077
no big deal
Another poet bites the dust
left in the wake of toil
Another hopeful has gone bust
with their measure of the spoil
Two more ears that did not hear
and eyes that did not see
Another off the path to veer
it was their choice and free
Begin again, again, again
it is the par of course
Cannot appease each whim and yen
cannot even blame the source
I was there in years gone bye
i know just how they feel
There is only each single try
each risk of reject and deal
My job is done in efforts spent
and cash that won’t run dry
I cannot please each artist's pent
or fulfill each verse's dye
I Am The Cheese a favorite book
and i now do stand alone
Each failed attempt was worth its look
another sky i have flown
Top
T o C
#1078
point of view
I’ve been keeping too busy
to just sit down and write
You know, dealing with poets
after changing their plight
And it was my decision
there is no one to blame
But then what would it all be
with no twist in the game
Litigation's a new word
that's been coming to mind
Falling prey to a web scam
more deaf, dumb and blind
Laws may be for the weary
as alertness avoids
Most all scandalous sessions
with the lower-world 'droids
Now judicial and civil
are the par for the course
Do i just trash the finesse
and bring out all the force?
Oh, i loath such dilemmas
should i just pay the toll
Let loose all of the marbles
let them lie where they roll?
Then these hours of paving
passing nine as i type
And the family reunions
and karaoke hype
Live your life to its fullest
is something that they
say
Work yourself to death being
with invisible pay
Is it opportunity
despite what it appears?
Are the hassles the blessings
rather than the arrears?
That leaves everything perfect
just the way that it stands
And the efforts exerted
gifts rather than demands
Top
T o C
#1079
(chatroom poetry)
tediboo: topic is Pen is...
tediboo: rainbow of rhymes
penpainter: Rainbow of Rhymes
The sky is dark from a decade of days
the wind has whipped forever in storm
An angry man walks drenched in his daze
no longer hoping for the sun and its warm
All the dreams that once used to be
are shattered beneath his tired bare feet
And all the visions he used to see
fallen to darkness where death and night meet
Echoes of laughter from those on the edge
remind him of myths once memories thought
He stands alone on the suicide of lone’s ledge
and wonders if anyone before has been caught
Thinks of things that were not or are gone
of the senseless heartless of ages and times
And thinking drags him to a stoic dawn
where amazed
he witnesses a rainbow of rhymes
penpainter: ~end~
Top
T o C
#1080
SEEING
Like evolution
was something
that took place
or some thing
that is going
to be destroyed
eons into the future
when ole Sol goes postal
They try to make
you believe
lies in Truth's face
because lies
for them
were deployed
the way that waves
are always aiming coastal
Inertia is not
something to blame
them
for
and lies are
just baggage
they were given
having been told they were
the torch to carry on
Our very seeking
of the reason
in the yore
is proof
of the alikeness
of our driven
and prophesy of our
perpetuation when they are gone
Evolution is
naught but
a conscious action
a choice that
only you are
allowed to make
so blame can stay
the myth it has always been
Race is but
the whole of many
a faction
so, by far
the most valiant
use of sake
as it is the excuse blamed
for the cowardice of men
Having thus been
told your state
of being
the state of each
being since
even before time
the choice stands now
before you in its plane
Know that darkness
is not to blame
for not seeing
and grace is not
reward for enduring
Karma's chyme
each one alone before
the slaughter sleeps in pain
Top
T o C
#1081
tediboo: topic; shattered image
The dispensation
of the day is disgusting
and at every level
i seem to fail myself
Imagination's plan
seems not go but busting
while final efforts dust
on financial lack's shelf
What a grand scheme
of things appeared on the horizon
when my hairs were all brown
and my waist was still thin
Now i just sit here
with wireless Verizon
trying to stay in the fight
forget about pin
Who knows how the end
will deal out in this gamble
where lust for the game
is enacted in scrimmage
The march is continued
to everyday ramble
with no gun to carry
but my shattered image
penpainter: ~end~
Top
T o C
#1082
Some People's Poet
Some people call it a talent
some people see in reverse
Some claim it to be a gift
bet they never lived with the curse
Imagine having to write
two dozen poems every day
Imagine trying to quit
and watching your life fall affray
Some people think it's unneeded
some call it a waste of time
Some people say it's outdated
this miserable virus of rhyme
Imagine sixty thousand verses
sitting down to make them a book
Imagine six hundred million seconds
still trying to get someone to look
Some think it should be published
a few people think it is trash
Some people won't take it for free
tell me that won't leave a gash
Imagine the five subject notebooks
filled up with the poet's own hand
Imagine exing through all of those pages
the death of the tome that was planned
Some people think it was chosen
this hermitical, volatile path
Some people think it's avoidable
the damn letter gods and their wrath
Imagine dreaming of being freakish
of watching rather than playing the game
Imagine the purpose of one's intention
to be seen as never the same
Some people read the eighty-four remaining
living eons in ions of thought
Then i just sit in my silence
and rejoice in the precious i've bought
Top
T o C
#1083
Spirituality and Philosophy
What a funny category
Like peace and war
Or sex and abstinence
Like some Jewish purgatory
A priest and a whore
An atheist's penance
What a funny category
The monks on tour
Mortal pretend sense
Top
T o C
#1084
Switch Which Stitch
It took three years to realize
how a poet might utilize these circuits
Oh, the 'draw' of the web did hypnotize
so that signing on became the goal
Just this morning i rearranged
now the blank page
sits in the middle
How did i become so estranged
thus forgetting the fruit of the toll?
That damn icon appeared as a god
the Blue Triangle in proper idol sit
Turning triumphs of word search to fraud
and the joys of its effort to dole
Ah, but now there is light at the end of the tunnel
which vision of mourning does make
So the A. M. has word paints to funnel
and sadness has circled the soul
Top
T o C
#1085
Terminal Thought
I thought i was busy last year
those evenings of leisure misspent
I thought i had cried the last tear
in vain attempts i called repent
I thought my efforts were gaining
on misplaced delusions of youth
Could not see self-centered feigning
contusions for pretence and 'couth
I thought fulfillment was handy
a grab bag at Paradise Mart
That nickel and dime store candy
the treacherous dreaming of heart
I thought myself in seclusion
amidst the universe of word
My thoughts created illusion
stampeding in poetic herd
Top
T o C
#1086
penpainter: Until The End Of Time
Trapped within this mortal cage
and mental's bars that have little drink
Seeking eternal on cyber page
while watching the second hand sink
Gasping again for ethereal air
though never having noticed its scent
Settling for emotion and intellectual flare
though i am sure it was not genesis' pent
Hoping for a flicker of eternal's flame
in a moment of thoughtless and peace
But until the end of time this game
plays its illusion of never surcease
Top
T o C
#1087
Vacation
A week away from summer
in New England in the cold
the sub-zero temperatures
are getting so awfully old
Disney World at forty-one
that she says i will enjoy
i guess it's time to excavate
that long dead little boy
Why didn't i buy a laptop
with all those cards on max?
Now the spendthrift senseless
will wield its hindsight tax
Where did i hide those journals
that one Christmas came in wrap?
Where is that Cross i used to bear
with the black, illegible sap?
Top
T o C
#1088
Valentine's 2004
Never has a man found
a woman of such beauty
as that which i see
in each smile cast my way
Never has a lover
discovered such booty
the treasure of the island
before me you lay
Never has a king
in the most ornate palace
had the comforts of living
so graciously dealt
Never has a knight
'found such a brilliant chalice
not a groom beside
such a gentle bride knelt
Heaven is not something
described by a mortal
joy and bliss words
that wane in your glow
Paradise simply sent
me you as its portal
an angelic guide
to all of its stow
Now day begins with
the dawn of your heart-shine
raining hope eternal
of the healing of all scars
Ending the promise
of another dawn to be mine
Night is the memory of kisses
that twinkle like stars
Happy Valentine's Day
my beloved wife
though my love pales
in the shadow of yours
Here is my greeting
filled with the gratitude of a life
unforeseen in eons
of livings amidst my befores
Top
T o C
#1089
penpainter: Vernal Canvas
The star speckled sky of central New England
is still spewing snow though spring is announced
Grass less than green is now past rain showing
while low twenties night gets again pronounced
The bike in the drive is canvassed and tied
from two weeks ago when warmth gave its peek
The Hard Rock leather still hangs from its chair
although it senses its future is weak
Trees framing the city not ever green
have lumps upon branches eager to bud
The slipshod of roads in the deep forest
as eager to warm to their yearly mud
Top
T o C
#1090
What A Cruel Conundrum
When living in this vicious world
with horrors yet untold
One might think rage au natural
and all those feelings bold
So vengeance seems instinctual
should life be but a breeze?
And arms the weapon of the mind
or is it karmic tease?
While headless chicken running wild
the part appeared to play
One might just wish one's foe deceased
under this Earth to lay
How is reality so creased
that proper is the odd
and all effect so self-ward furled
we are our evil god?
Top
T o C
#1091
penpainter: What Is Poetry?
What makes words mix into verse
is it meter, poise or rhyme?
Thought like herd's stampede reverse
and blended in heart by time
Dispensational comics
or simplicity in stern
Advice for the known and knowing
or wonderful waves of yearn
What makes phrases' intercourse
make love to metaphor
What bleeds into paragraphs
that makes art of inkish pour?
It seems it falls to scholastic guess
or the pretend of the upper echelon
And long before they finally decide
i'll probably be dead and gone
Top
T o C
#1092
Why me?
The angry man in the western boots
kicking me 'round Grandma's bath
That extension cord, whatever suits
to release that Reverend's wrath
Welted and screaming i got to bed
tattoos of purple in intricate lines
Why such the fuss, i always was fed
why all of those whimpish ole whines?
All those extended leather lashes
'round that room for an hour
Who could have seen the heart gashes
and the years of their power?
It is only because we love you
can you imagine a bigger crock of shit?
Because we can push and shove you
then question every wee little fit
Forty something and still burning
thought that time could heal all scars
Is it still Hell from which i'm turning
or is Hell made up of these bars?
Top
T o C
#1093
Everything To Me
Every time you smile
deep inside i get all warm
Every time our fingers touch
those butterflies start to swarm
It only takes a glance my way
and this cold heart starts to melt
Then suddenly you are gone
i have only echoes of what i felt
Sometimes i wake in the morning
almost feeling my fingers in your hair
I smell the perfume of your skin
but turn to not find you there
Then there are days i don’t care
when my emptiness cuts like a knife
I give up hope of better things
and dreams of a happier life
Though many days it may not show
i hope someday you will see
That nothing else in this world counts
because you are everything to me!
Top
T o C
#1094
The Wander Of Wonder
trying to make the most of life
not knowing the correct course
trying to follow the spirit of things
rather than habited force
wondering how it can get so confused
when in here it is laid out so plain
wanting to bathe in the sunshine of days
awaiting the end of years' rain
trying to fit in the scheme of things
not knowing the items of dream
trying to harbor no ill intent
amidst this planet of scream
wondering when the spring will appear
where flowers do not wilt and die
wanting to exchange the lower respects
for the selfless fulfillment of high
Top
T o C
#1095
The Reading
I stand here with
a microphone
In a room of people
all alone
No one's been here
where i live
In THIS universe
i must forgive
Karmic gods
need not my let
Those bastard lords
never forget
So blame the clouds
that had no rain
And i alone
caused all my pain
I took the chance
once given me
And built up bars
within my free
I screamed aloud
my nonsense cause
And rewrote rules
that gave no clause
To endless choice
that life did gift
In peaceful time
my violent rift
But wisdom's sun
melted that cloud
And wisdom's rain
cleansed dunce's proud
Then once a Muse
caught thoughtless eye
To stubborn rage
gave loving pry
Showing all along
chance had survived
Waiting silent by
to be revived
So standing here
with microphone
I'm glad that we
are all alone
And thank the sum
who did not share
Their disbelief
and lack of care
Though those that did
have no less right
To share the love
i feel tonight
And i wish you all
a brighter day
When vision dawns
in its own way
To show you how
the pieces fit
And love has led
to where you sit
So in the end
it works out best
That all the past
was just a test
To prove your faith
and self somehow
To lead you to
this here and now
Would love to hear your thoughts on this verse!
Email the Poet
Poetry Palace Gift Shop .com
